The 7 Rules of Flight Club

You may be familiar with the movie “Fight Club,” where a group of underground street fighters had their own very strict set of rules to protect and preserve their secret society.

Here at Flight Club Seattle, we are an above ground (WAY above ground) secret society made up of clinically insane people who repeatedly run up skyscrapers for fun. We have a similar set of rules as Fight Club, also designed to protect and preserve.

If you wish to join Flight Club Seattle, you must follow these rules. To be an official member of Flight Club, you must complete 14 climbs.

We take these rules very seriously. Breaking one or more of them will be grounds for immediate termination with no second chance. By this we mean you will be thrown from the top of the building and will experience immediate termination as you hit the ground.

The rules

  1. The first rule of Flight Club: Do not talk about the names or locations of our training buildings. You may talk about your hobby with anyone, but you must use non-specific terms like “tower running” or “skyscraper training.” If you want to invite a friend, you must first have them email the Stair Marshall (pj@xgym.com) so they receive the proper explanations and direction to this page.
  2. The second rule of Flight Club: Do not talk to or EVER ask help from any building staff or security guards. This ESPECIALLY includes calling them on the stair phone to get out of the stairwell. You are required to do so however, if you feel it is medically necessary, but this is still a rule violation and will exclude you from membership and any future climbs.
  3. The third rule of Flight Club: Check the climbing tweets through www.twitter.com/xgymstairs to find out which building we are climbing and when. You must direct tweet back to be included in the climb. No tweet back means you can’t climb.
  4. The fourth rule of Flight Club: There are two possible stairwell exits: the top or the bottom. The top door assigned by the Stair Marshall will be the only designated exit. If that door isn’t open for any reason (i.e. it was closed by a building tenant after the Stair Marshall taped it open, or the tape didn’t stick, etc.), you must climb all the way back down and exit at the bottom. Exiting out any other door besides the designated top door (even if another floor door is open), or asking for help or using the security phone to exit on any other floor is violation of rule #2.
  5. The fifth rule of Flight Club: Stick with the plan. We start on time, together as a group and we climb the building only once. If you are late to a climb and you miss starting with the group, you can’t climb. Just go home. You may not climb on your own or start late, early, or any time other than with the group.
  6. The sixth rule of Flight Club: No puking in the stairwell. If you are a “puker,” bring your own barf bag. Otherwise, hold it until you reach the top so you can puke in the toilet. Addendum to rule 6: If you are a ‘spitter,’ please spit to the side of the stairwell and not on the stairs. Your fellow climbers coming up behind you will appreciate it.
  7. The seventh rule of Flight Club: You may not quit a climb. Climbs will go on as long as they have to for you to reach the top, but if you are slow enough that you have to be chased down and rounded up by the Stair Marshall, you are not ready to be in flight club. The Stair Marshall has to make sure everyone is out and done before he/she leaves, so if the Stair Marshall loses track of you and has to find you, that will be your last climb with the flight club.

Stair Marshall is the boss

The Stair Marshall is the reason you have access to these climbs. He/she is the boss. He/she is a monarchy. He/she is the supreme commander. He/she really does know best, because he/she has been around long enough to know more than you – especially how to preserve the privilege of continued access to these buildings. If you want to climb with Flight Club, you agree to all of these rules and to whatever he/she has to say, no matter if you like it or not. No arguing, no voting, no opinions – only full compliance. One strike and your out – forever.

Why so harsh, Stair Marshall?

Hard-nosed enough for ya? Well, we must be to preserve the continued access to our practice courses. We have already been permanently expelled from a building, so we learned from that and these rules are specifically designed to prevent that from happening again. This is a privilege, and one person can jeopardize it for the entire group. If you don’t like it, or have a problem with rules or authority, then don’t come. Find your own building to climb somewhere else and start your own group.

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